HJBR Sep/Oct 2024

Conclusion Our ability to form deep and lasting relation- ships is influenced by the quality of our early attachments and experiences. Those who have experienced secure attachments in childhood are more likely to form healthy, secure relation- ships in adulthood, while those who have expe- rienced insecure attachments may struggle to form deep connections. It is important for indi- viduals to resolve any past traumas or insecurities in order to cultivate more meaningful and fulfill- ing relationships in the future. Though the pro- cess is challenging, help from mental healthcare providers can be a valuable resource in overcom- ing these obstacles. Healthcare providers working with these kinds of individuals have tools to work with. From The Body Keeps the Score : ❝ We can now develop methods and expe- riences that utilize the brain’s own natu- ral neuroplasticity to help survivors feel fully alive in the present and move on with their lives. There are fundamentally three avenues: 1) top down, by talking, (re-) connecting with others, and allowing ourselves to know and understand what is going on with us, while processing the memories of the trauma; 2) by taking medicines that shut down inappropriate alarm reactions, or by utilizing other tech- nologies that change the way the brain organizes information, and 3) bottom up: by allowing the body to have experiences that deeply and viscerally contradict the helplessness, rage, or collapse that result from trauma. Which one of these is best for any particular survivor is an empirical question. Most people I have worked with require a combination. 1 Overall, understanding the impact of our early relationships can help us navigate our current connections and strive for more fulfilling relationships in the future. Good support in processing trauma will enable us to move through our histories and live more fully in the present. Doing the work, after life happens, leads to more life. We humans are social creatures, after all; why wouldn’t we want to make an effort to have meaningful and intimate relationships while we are living? n Rev. Ted Wiard, EdD, LPCC, CGC, received a master’s degree in counseling with an emphasis in grief and loss. He earned a doctorate in organizational leadership focused on leadership behaviors in the midst of change. Wiard is the co-founder of Golden Willow Retreat near Taos, New Mexico, an emotional healing sanctuary focused on loss, trauma, grief, and recovery. In addition, he is the clinical director of Rio Grande ATP, an organization focused on recovery from substance use disorders. Wiard’s time working at Betty Ford Center and speaking at many other treatment centers led to a deeper knowledge of addiction and recovery. He also has his own therapy practice, is a minister, and due to his own personal and professional experiences, Wiard’s passion for emotional healing and growth have led him to be a leader in the field of recovery during times of transition and transformation. Rev. Ted Wiard, EdD, LPCC, CGC Southwestern College and Golden Willow Retreat